Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Desire of My Heart

Hallelujah!  I have risen from the blogging dead. If you've been checking faithfully (I flatter myself, I know) to find nothing new here, I apologize. I've been consumed with boxes, the many annoyances of setting up a new household, and the demands of my work. I've ignored those I love and care about, haven't unpacked nearly enough boxes, and haven't blogged.  I can't promise that there will be daily or even every-other-daily blogs. I can't promise you anything, but I will make a concerted effort to carve out a few minutes here and there to update you on my life.

Here's one thing I have discovered. For me to actually use my time blogging when I could be doing a million other things right now, the topic must be worthy of my sacrifice. My friends are always saying, "blog about this," or "blog about that."  And, I agree that some of the topics would make good reading. So, I am keeping a list of those for down the road when no topic presents itself.

But, today, my extremely worthy topic has to do with the desire of my heart or the desire of YOUR heart, as might be the case. And, here's what brought it on today.

This is my Tuesday morning Bible Study, officially called Oasis at First Dallas.  And, the woman in the picture is the amazing Godly Joni Cleveland. I could write this entire blog entry about this spirit-filled woman, about her teaching (Our pastor referred to her as a prophet. Pretty amazing from a Southern Baptist preacher who believes women should keep silent in the church!), about how she personally prays for my healing, how she interprets the Word making it come alive to so many, and on and on.  

But, when this slide flashed up today during our study of Acts, my blogtennae grabbed it. 

Several things came to mind:
1) A discussion I just had with someone close to me who questions that you really have to go to church to worship. I immediately texted the quote to that person. (Sorry, Joni; I was still paying attention!)

2) My Blue-eyed Bride daughter. After a year of planning her wedding--one of the most enjoyable times of our lives--the wedding happened. She went to Hawaii, and I went home. It was like the morning after Christmas, all the presents opened, mess to clean up.  The let-down. I was in a funk for a week -- maybe longer. Delighted and proud, but in a funk. And then, BAM!  Four months later, she's pregnant. It wasn't MY PLAN for her. Hah!  There wasn't even A PLAN at all. The worst thing ever for two organized plan-everything women, one of whom got paid to be a planner (not I).  And, I didn't even try to hide my dismay.  Mothers are like that sometime. We do know what's best for our children, after all.

Then, I turned the focus from myself (always difficult) and began to think about my precious daughter and her life. And, I knew without a doubt that this was the desire of her heart. It was what she always wanted more than anything -- to be a wife and mother. Next to following Him, what could be a more worthy desire in the eyes of the Lord.  

3) The desire of my heart. Can I define it?  I think I can. It's what I long for. Whom or what I long to be with. It's what I value more than anything -- my treasure. I know what it is today. I wish it had always been so. I envy those who grasped this desire early, but I am thankful that God was patient with me until I got it.  He was gracious enough to know that I needed to get it before the melanoma came. The desire of my heart is to be in absolute lockstep with the Lord.  I want to spend time with Him, to be with Him, to be like Him. And, as we studied in Acts 4 today, I want to speak the word of the Lord BOLDLY.  Shucks, I may not have enough time left to be timid about the Lord.  

What is the desire of YOUR heart?  Do you know?  Can you define it?

Delight yourself in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. ~ Psalm 37:4,5 

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